The 10 Archetypal Stoners: Which One Are You?
Stoners come in all shapes and sizes. From smoking alone for medical use, to smoking with your to maximize your shared spent time together, weed smokers have a variety of rhymes and reasons to puff on their herbs.
However, much like Carl Jung's 7 archetypes of personality, this article categorizes our fellow weed enthusiasts into the 10 archetypal stoners that you are likely to encounter… or perhaps one of them is you! Without further adieu, here are the 10 stoners that live amongst us.
1. The Noob
Having a noob around can be stressful. They can't roll a decent joint, they hold onto the joint for way too long, and worst of all… they don't know how to hit a bong. With that being said, noobs are a blessing in disguise. They say the best way to learn something is by teaching it, and the noob is one of the most enthusiastic stoners you'll meet. A noob is a dry sponge ready to learn the ways of getting stoned.
Not only this, but noobs also make you feel like a fresh young stoner yourself. Watching the noob get toasted after one hit reminds you of the early days when getting high was a whole new world waiting to be explored. If you yourself are a noob, don’t fret. In today’s climate, the cannabis community is here to help you. A good place to start would be the best ways to get high, and cannabis community etiquette.
2. The Socialite
The Socialite is often the life of the smoke sesh. Whether the bud is indica or Sativa, a well-grouped smoke sesh brings the social smoker alive. After shyly exclaiming to be "feeling the high", you can expect outlandish conversations, deep therapeutic talks, conspiracy theories, wild laughter, and nothing but love from the socialite smoker. They don't smoke alone, and they don't smoke regularly, so they don't smoke a lot.
You never have to worry about them smoking too much of your weed, as they don't need much to get a good buzz. Sometimes they even have weed of their own, saved to smoke with friends at the sesh. If you relate to the socialite, perhaps you are one. If so, check out the best weed strains for socializing.
3. The Skater
If it’s not already, it should be common knowledge that a skatepark is a great place to score weed in a new city without cannabis headshops… not that we condone buying weed illegally. Skaters are notorious weed smokers. There’s almost always someone with a joint at a skatepark. Skaters like it for many reasons. First and foremost, it makes skating even more fun than it already is.
A good smoke sesh makes the skaters more motivated to have a good skate sesh, and it also helps take away the anxiety around trying difficult or new tricks. Secondly, weed helps with muscle and joint soreness after skating. Lastly, it bonds the crew together. Most skaters like to skate with the homies, and a joint after the sesh together furthers the memories of falling, laughing, and landing tricks. Local skateparks are often like big families, and smoking a bit of pot together strengthens those bonds.
4. The Parent
Without a joint and a glass of wine after the kids of have gone to sleep, the parents would literally implode. Jokes aside, weed helps them manage the stress of a 9 to 5, and helps them be loving and patient the next 5 to 9. The cycle is tough, and weed helps a parent combat daily wear and tear, and it helps them get a good night sleep. It also helps prevent or alleviate many age related conditions that a parent may deal with as they transition gracefully into old age. This could include mental health and mental illnesses. The parent plays a crucial role in shaping a bright-eyed, open-minded, and warm-hearted youth, that will heal our society. We have thanks to give to the parents out there giving it their best, no matter the obstacles that come their way.
5. The Soloist
The Solist often smokes to self-medicate. Sometimes they have anxiety and prefer to get stoned in the comfort of their own presence. Sometimes they take a short walk through the woods with a joint, stopping at a bench by a lake to rip the pipe in solitude. Or, they are at home ripping the bong, watching Netflix with salted popcorn. The truth is, solo smoker comes in all shapes and forms, and they all have their own preferences for smoking. After all, there are a number of benefits to smoking weed during your daily routine.
Some Soloists are more solo than others, while some equally enjoy passing around a joint with friends. However, one thing is shared amongst all soloists… if forced, a soloist would choose to smoke alone over a group sesh. This could be for many reasons: saving weed, saving money, saving time, smoking for productivity, or simply maintaining peace of mind. Soloists incorporate smoking into their daily life, and it works well to motivate them. If you meet a solo smoker in their natural habitat, let them have a peaceful sesh.
6. The Artist
Much like the soloist, the artist can usually be found smoking alone, zoned in entirely on creating their art. It’s no secret that weed enhances creativity, so it makes sense that weed and art go hand in hand. In fact, the artist credits a lot of their creativity to weed, swearing by weed’s ability to connect you to a higher power or energy.
The artist often carries around a notebook for drawing and likes to show off new sketches. Alternatively, they are constantly in the studio making music, with a joint always lit. They have paintings, posters, plants and decor all over their room. They like to get high before going to museums, or watching indie films at arthouse movie theatres. They live like the main character, and their life is a canvas. Here’s what some artists have to say about their relationship to weed.
7. The Philosopher
The Hobby Philosopher is too cool for school, at least too smart to try getting a job with a philosophy degree. Hence, everything they’ve learned about the art of life comes from books, documentaries, old movies, and YOUTUBE videos. Just because they don’t study philosophy or the likes thereof at a traditional institution, it doesn't mean they can’t teach you a thing or two. They know about everything from Taoism to Stoicism, and they took notes. They can tell you all about the relationship between weed and spirituality. When they get stoned, they reflect, formulating their own views on what life is all about, based on everything they’ve heard from others and everything they’ve seen with their own eyes. If you ever get a chance to talk to the philosopher after they’ve ripped the bong, ask them what the meaning of life is.
8. The Hippy
Do you remember smoking marijuana in the 70s? If you do, you’re probably one of the old hippies. If not, then you have them to thank for pioneering the acceptance of weed in society. These guys have been buying weed long since before it was legal, and they miraculously are still here to tell the story… and they have a lot of stories.
The Hippy was there when Jimi Hendrix played the national anthem at Woodstock in ‘69. With a headband like Hendrix’s, 10 joints, and a bag of shrooms, there’s the hippy right there at the front of the stage! These days, the hippy can be found at your local cannabis-related events, keeping the culture alive and feeling young while doing it. Sometimes they show up at the skatepark to see the action and smoke with the skater crowd. Draped in tie-die and beaded jewellery, the hippy always has wise advice, feel-good music, and lots of stories.
9. The Grower
You’d be lucky to have this stoner as your best friend. The grower always has a fresh plant ready to harvest, and new seeds ready to be potted. They’ve been growing plants for so long, indoors and out, that they know almost everything there is to know about a healthy growing process. They think of themselves as a student of nature.
If you are growing your first seeds, the grower is the go-to for advice and guidance. However, you need to be well connected to meet The grower. They usually keep it low-key, so as not to bring unwanted attention to the operation. They may be around for a smoke sesh or two, but they have things to do. But don’t be mistaken, at home amongst the plants, the grower rips the bong and puffs on blunts like the rest of us. Being a grower takes patience, skill and intuition. If you think you have what it takes, start with this step-by-step guide to growing cannabis indoors.
10. And last but not least, The Dealer
The Dealer is usually close friends with the grower. Sometimes, the grower supplies the dealer, and other times the dealer is supplying the grower with top-quality seeds. Dealers are also close to their customers, often forming close relationships with their clientele. The dealer is a friend of a friend, and he’s tight with everyone on this list. After all, they come to the dealer for their source of a buzz, something priceless to the stoners on this list.
The dealer, however, is not just a source of endless plastic baggies (although they advise you to bring your own, for the environment). The dealer can also be a chill friend to smoke with, a source of good conversation, and an ear for what's on your mind. In the glory days of legalised weed across most of America, the dealer is now referred to as The Budtender. Being a budtender is an honourable job, and requires a wealth of knowledge about strains, smoking equipment, cannabis news, and more. Here’s more to consider if you want to be a budtender.
